Leppy

So I took this quiz and I just had to post it because it cracked my shit up!!

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I had my interview at Old National. I feel that it went really well. I felt like I had more of a conversation with the lady, and I feel that is a really good thing when it comes to job interviews. I think that it shows that I can talk to anyone, and for the job I am going for taht is something that I will need. She asked me a lot of questions, but the interview only lasted about a half hour or so. I got there a little early and I went up to the desk to tell them that I was there and low and behold it was Amanda at the desk. Amanda is the one person that I know in the whole building because she works at Buy Low with me. So I talked to her for about 15-20 minutes, and the lady who interviewed even made a note that I know Amanda which is a really good thing. I am overally pretty pleased with the interview. I haven't heard anything yet, but she said she was going to talk to Lisa and then Lisa would take it from there. I am thinking that I have to have another interview or something. Oh yeah, and the dress code for there is business professional so I have to wear a tie everyday that I go to work. Fun Fun, but if that is what it takes to get the good paying job that I want I will survive and do it.

Yay!!! I have an interview tomorrow morning at 10!!!! I am so happy right now. I couldn't even go back to sleep. Well that's all I have to say.

It has been a while since I have posted. I am still waiting for a phone call from Old National so they can tell me when my interview is supposed to be. I really hope they call me soon. I am really hoping that they are not just dragging me along just to keep me waiting and waiting and then never call me. If she hasn't called by Thursday or Friday I am going to call her and see what is up because I think it is my right to know. I am not going to get toyed with especially not with a job this good, and plus work at Buy Low is just getting worse and worse. I got a whole 7 cent raise. Go me!! I really want this job more than anything besides getting my car fixed. Which will require me to get this job. Since I have no income.

My parents came down on Sunday along with my sister. I was actually really happy to see them, especially my sister. I may call her a bitch and all that, but she is one of my best friends. We are sibling we fight and call each other names. It is normal. They got here around noon. My dad was the first to arrive, and to my surprise it was very pleasant between us. He actually didn't say one cross thing to me. It made me feel really good. I guess after the last time I was up I talked to mom about how I feel towards him and how he makes me feel. Well my mom, god I love that woman, had a talk with dad and he felt really bad and is sorry for the way he has been treating me the past few months, almost a year. Which is a very good improvement considering my dad has never told me that he was sorry for anything he ever did. Well dad and I talked for a little bit. He asked me about the position that I was trying to get at Old National and he said he was really hoping that I get it so I can get out of Buy Low. About 15 minutes after dad got there my mom and sister arrived. Dad brought the damned Bravada for me to drive since my car is about to bite the dust. We went out to eat at Old Chicago. It is awesome. The food was great and everything. My sister decided she would be nice so she called Kurt and told him that they were coming down and invited him to lunch with us. Well he started his shit and ended up leaving Old Chicago before we even got our table. So it pissed my sister off, and then he wouldn't quit calling and texting her, and she wasn't answering them because she was eating and she was with us. So then Kurt called me, and I didn't answer because I wasnt' going to get involved. I wanna keep Kurt on my good side since he is going to work on my car for me. So then we went shopping for me. I got my mom to spend like $400 on me for my interview and possible clothes to wear if I get the job. It was a very pleasant experience. Kurt eventually ended up stealing my sister away from us because he wanted to talk. This really pissed me off because I haven't seen my sister for a while, and just to put in retrospect besides my dog my sister is the person I miss the most from home, so she was gone for the rest of the day. She didn't even make it to the mall with us, she ended up going with Kurt and I think he talked her in to buying stuff for him. I am getting sick of him using her like this. My mom and I were talking about it and she said that Alysia is scared to leave him because she thinks that if she does there won't be anyone else out there for her. I think when I go home this weekend I might sit down and have a heart to heart talk with her about it and let her know that I am right behind her anyway she chooses because I know she would do the same for me.

Well onto my car. My car has 2 sensors, catalytic convertor, IAC, Timing, and Tune Up problems. My O2 sensor is going out, my mass air flow sensor is going out, my cat is buring up when I am driving and you can smell it and I just had a new one put on a little while back. My IAC is really bad, so bad that if I start it and just go it dies. I have to get the RPMs up before I can even think about going anywhere. I need a new timing belt because I have went 87,000 miles on the factory belt and my car just needs a tune up. So yeah that is a lot of money especially since it is a foreign car, and guess what I have no money.

Well that is about all that has been going on with me so Ciao.

So far it has just been a really good week. I have had a lot of good things happen to me. I have even had some bad things happen to me. For the past 2 days I have been in the absolute best mood and it is like nothing that anyone does can get me out of my good mood. This new job hunt is going absolutely great and I couldn't ask for anything better. My Dad is actually happy for me and it scares the hell out of me because he hasn't been happy for me a day in his life or mine. The only thing that has happened this week that has pissed me off is my car going bonkers.

The lady at the bank today was talking to me like I already have the job, but I don't want to get my hopes up because I don't know for sure because I still have to go through a real interview with a bank manager (nervous). She was telling me to day about my pay rate, when my training will start, how to get my schedule, when I am eligible for my raises, and she really broke down the job for me and gave me a really good understanding of it unlike the website which gave a horribly vague description of it. Tonight at work wasn't really that bad. No one yelled at me or anything it was really nice. I think if I get this new job I am going to stay at Buehler's and just work Sunday nights in the office. Because hey and extra few bucks a week can't hurt. I didn't sleep a wink last night. All I kept thinking about was "what was that lady's name that I am supposed to ask for when I get to the bank?" Then I turned my alarm off this morning and didn't wake up until a half hour later then I had my alarm set for, and I was still early. I am just terribly excited I haven't ever been this happy about a job ever in my entire life. Maybe because this is like a real job and when my family asks me what I do instead of telling them I work at a grocery store I can tell them I work for Old National Bank and I can rub it into my uncle Tom's (who I hat with a passion) face. Since he says I will never make anything of myself because I am my dad's son. Being my dad's son gives me more reason to do something with my life. It is just that I feel proud to even be considered for this job let alone if I get the job.

Anyways on with my car. My check engine light has been on in my car and I made plans to take it to Boonville so Kurt can look at it and it costs me less this way. Well then last night when Jen and I were getting to go pick up Kevin from work my car wanted to die on me. The only thing that came to my mind was "oh fuck I have to be at Old National at 9:30 in the morning!" I didn't even care about the fact that I had to work at Buehler's tonight. Kurt came over last night and listened to it and we took it for a little drive. He thinks my AIC is off and he informed me that I might want to get my timing belt replaced while I am at it just to be safe, and he wouldn't lie to me because if he did he would have to deal with my dad. My dad pissed off isn't a very good thing. I have seen it first hand numerous times.

Jen and Kevin seem to be getting a long very well and it puts a smile on my face to see her being so happy. I will be the first to admit that I had my doubts about them, but they were strong enough to pull thorough it and it is a very good thing for the both of them. I hope they stay this happy for a long time to come.

So today I had to go into Old National to take a Teller Assessment Test and had a mini interview plus I filled out a long application. I am pretty close to getting the job. She is going to try to schedule me an interview for sometime next week. How awesome!!!! I also found out that I picked a really good job for college students because you are only scheduled for when you are available and if your availability changes then all you do is call it in and there are no questions asked. Also the starting pay for the job is $8.75 an hour. After 6 months i get a raise and then on my 1 year I get another raise then after that it is an annual raise. I am so excited right now. I think I am going to get out of Buehler's except for the one night that I am going to stay for. Well that all for now. I will keep everyone posted. I am so excited!!!!!!

So I woke up this morning and called ONB and the lady wants me to come in tomorrow morning at 9:30 to take a teller assessment test. I am so excited. It is just one more step closer for me to getting a new and better job!!! I am in the best mood ever. I don't think that anyone could but me in a bad mood today. Yay!!!!!!!!

I am terribly excited right now. I went home on my break and I had a message on my answering machine. It was Old National Bank calling me wanting to discuss the position that I applied for. Yay!!!!!! I am doing everything in my power not to tell anyone at work and it is terribly hard. I have already called my mom, jared, and jen and I just want to tell everyone eventhough I don't have the job yet, but the fact that they called me is very exciting. It also gives me hope of being able to get the job. I hope I do.

Well it has been a while since I have updated. A lot has happened. A lot that was good that it happened some that scared the shit out of me and some that just kind of shocked me. There is also a lot that I am not going to go into just because I don't want everyone to know about it. So today since I woke up I have just been in the worst mood ever. I don't know why or how. I was completely fine last night. I am just a complete and total bitch today. I keep telling people that it is because I am exhausted but it isn't the reason at all. I have no idea what the reason is, but being exhausted sounds like the only logical reason that I can think of.

So I have been on vacation since Thursday and it has been quite nice. I went up to Loogootee and I got to hang out and actually spend time with my friends. This is something that I haven't done in a while because everytime I normally go home I feel very rushed. It was good to actually just sit down and talk with the guys. I haven't done it in a very long time and it felt awesome to be able to do it.

Friday night was very good. It was both flattering and shocking/scary. I don't really know how to take it. This is one of those areas that I am not going to go into. I had a lot of fun met some new people that are cool and got to hang out with the friends that I already have.

Last night I went to a Fourth of July cookout and it was great. I was able to sit down and have some really good conversation with a few of the guy. I can see that they are finally starting to mature and now I don't feel so out of place when I am around them.

The only time my dad talked to me was to bitch at me and this gets very old and I am very tired of it. So I told him to shut up and not to talk to me and that was fun. I wish he would get out of my life for good, but it is kind of nice when he tries to buy my love. I know that makes me sound really spoiled and selfish, but I feel that is all my dad is good for.

I think I have finally figured out what is wrong with me, but it is going to be very hard for me to explain it to anyone. It is just me and I don't know if anyone will take it the same way that I am and plus there are other factors and I don't want to piss anyone off.

Oh well I probably just pissed someone off anyways so I guess I will have to deal with it.

Ta Ta for now.

So I found some pictures on the internet and then I found a photo editing program that I didn't know I had on my computer. I am excited.

So I worked with Natalie last night. Things seem to be back to normal if not better between us. As we were leaving last night one of the cashiers Lauren gave Natalie one of those secret girl code smiles. Natalie did one of those emabarrassed giggles that girls do. Then Justin who was also working gave me a nod of the head and then winked at me or something like that. I guess they are all good things and I am excited about it. I am going to call her tonight after I get off of work tonight to see if she wants to do anything tomorrow. Hopefully she will say yes but if she doesn't oh well. I am not going to fret over it. Ia m just happy. Everyone also thinks that her and this guy Jake that works with me up in the office are dating. Justin asked her about it and she got a disgusted look on her face and then looked straight at me in the eyes, and said no we aren't dating and there is nothing there. After hearing that I was in a good mood for the rest of the night.

I finally got to start on my class today. I am glad I did because my first test has to be taken by Wednesday. It is going pretty good. The class itself is going to be pretty easy I believe, so that is a good thing.

Well everyone have a nice wonderful day. Ciao!

So I have been doing a lot of thinking tonight. I don't know why but I just have. I have come to the conclusion that I am going to give Natalie another chance but I am going to wait a little while longer to bring anything up about it just to see if I catch any vibes so I don't feel like a complete dumbass. Even if it does work out between us I don't think it will work out between us because I have a little problem. There is a certain person that I can't get out of my head and it isn't Natalie. She has a boyfriend and they are happy together. That makes it even harder for me. Her boyfriend is also one of my friends.

I think she is the most gorgeous person in the whole entire world. I think that even if I were able to talk to her about it I would be better off about Natalie. This way I won't be wandering "what if?". Another thing that makes it hard is consider her one of my best friends and it is a scary thing to think of if it would hurt our friendship. It seems that I always fall for my friends and then I end up dating them and the friendship is never the same. Then when I try to date someone who isn't a good friend it is just like a lost cause.

I hate this part of life. My life would be perfect if I didn't have to worry about he opposite sex. Eventhough I LOVE the opposite sex. Sometimes I wander if it is even worth the time, energy, and effort that I put into it, or for that fact is it worth the stress it causes me? I am almost to the point to where I just don't give a shit and about to give up on being in a relationship forever. It has been 2 years since I have had anything close to a relationship and it is just too long. I just wish this shit was easier. I have already tried letting the girls come to me. Look where that got me. I am in the same place I was when I started. What a coincedence!

Well I believe that is enough bitching and moaning for now. Ciao!

So as everyone I got stood up Thursday night. This really sucked. I was absolutely crushed, and I couldn't show how much it hurt me because I was around my friends. Eventhought I got stood up I am going to talk to her and if she has a good viable excuse I am gonna try again. Although it will probably end up the same way, but on the other hand I won't know if I don't try.

Thursday night I hung out at Jamie's with Jamie, Jen, Stu, Kevin, Joe, and Christina. We watched Saving Silverman it was really funny. I love the movie. Then after we left Jamie's Jen, Kevin and I came back to my place and hung out.

Friday started out really good. I woke up because it was STORMING!!!! Yay!! Jen Kevin and I went to Dairy Queen for lunch then I headed up to Loogootee for the weekend. It was a lot of fun. I got a call from one of my really good friends who I haven't seen in a long time so I went to Jasper to hang out with her. We got some beer and just chilled. I smoked myself stupid that night but that was ok it was fun. We got back at about 4:30. I went to bed at about 5 I woke up at 9 and I thought it was 9 at night. So I called my mom and dad's and left them a message telling them I wasn't going to make it out there since I slept so long. When I realized it was 9 in the morning I hunted them down and I told my mom about the message and her reply was. "Did you have a little to much to drink last night?" God I love my mom. She just knows me way to well. So I ended up going out there.

Saturday night I went camping with a bunch of the guys. It was really fun. I got pretty drunk and had a really good time. My friend Shaun turned 21 on Saturday and my frined Jared turned 19 on Sunday. I came back down here on Sunday night because I had to be at work at 6 in the morning :( on monday. Jared came down on Monday night and he just left about an hour ago. We just kind of hung out. I took him driving around E-ville because he wanted to see around. We went and ate at Nick's with Kurt and Eric.

Well I have better get going becuase I have to be at work in 15 minutes. See ya'll later.

Well I am supposed to have a date tomorrow night, but I don't know if this is going to happen. Anyone who has seen or talk to me Saturday until Monday knows I was ecstatic. I have not been that happy in a very long time. I have been talking to this girl at work, Natalie, who is absolutley gorgeous and an all around great person. Right now though I am feeling like I am getting jerked around. I don't like this. She told me that one of her friends is coming back into town which is fine, but she won't give me a direct answer as to wheter or not it is going ot affect our date on Thursday or not. She was supposed to tell me tonight, but she didn't know yet. So I have to go into work tomorrow on my day off to see if the date is still on. If it even is a date. The past two times she has came in the store she has kind of ignored me. I don't know if she is playing hard to get with me or just trying to ignore me to push me away. I would much rather her tell me to get the fuck away like girls normally do to me so I can get one with my life and not have to wander if there is going to be anything between us or not. I was doing so good keeping my doubt in control. Now is another story. Since yesterday my doubt has been uncontrollable. I find myself getting really jealous when she talks to other guys. I have never in my life done this with any girlfriend that I have ever have. Eventhough I don't say or do anything to make her see how I feel I still feel like an overbearing jealous asshole. I don't wanna be that!!!

I am just so strung out right now. I am not good in relationships whether it be starting them, keeping them, or breaking them off. Everytime I find myself getting close to someone they either get a boyfriend, or fuck me over in the relationship. Like my last one. I was with the girl 2 months. I really like her, but we fought a lot. So we decided to take a break. We ended up back together. While we were one our break one of my really good friends at the time decided he wanted her. So Leslie and I were back together and all of a sudden she started dating James without ever breaking up with me or anything. She just said, oh I thought we were just friends. If we were just friends I have never had a friend like that. If you know what I mean.

So basically what I am saying is that if this thing with Natalie goes to shambles tomorrow I will be crushed and very pissed off. She just seemed so eager Saturday night when I asked her out. Now all of a sudden it is like she wants nothing to do with me. I DON'T GET IT!!!!!!!

I think my head is going to explode with all of the depressing and bad thoughts that are going through it. Since yesterday my mind has been in way too many places at one time and I don't think that it can take it very much longer especially with work. Work was hell tonight, but all of my managers have been really understanding with the whole situation and they have told me to just let them know if I am going to need off. So for once in my life at Buehler's something good has kind of happened, but it is sad that it took this to make it happen.

We had a one day sale at work today and it was busy as fuck. It was one of the worst/best one day sales we have had in a long time. I went in at 2 and I was office/service desk tonight. I was so fucking busy tonight it was all I could do to get a pull counted while someone was on break. To put this in perspective as to how busy I was I didn't get the 2:00 drawer counted until almost 5:00. I didn't really get a break until like 8:30 or so. I didn't clock out until 10:15. That is the latest I have ever been there when I work office.

Everyone today (customers) was really pushy and it didn't help that I was on edge the way it was, but for once I was able to keep my cool and I didn't get snappy or rude with anyone tonight. That is a first!! To make things better I have to work straight through Monday, but Monday is time and a half so that will be nice. I am not looking foreward to working at all tomorrow night, or anytime withing the next 2 weeks. I just need some time off and it isn't coming fast enough.

I think it would really help a lot if I would be able to clear my mind and get some shit straight in my mind instead of it going every which way all of the fucking time. I thought about calling Jen tonight or going down to hang out with Jamie and talk to her, but I just wanted to come home and be by myself so I could think. Which by the way is the worst thing that I can do, but I did it anyways, and I will always do that because that is how I deal with bad things. I don't talk about them I just think about them until I can't take it anymore then I blow up on anyone or everyone that is around me for absolutely no reason. For this reason I will probably not be going to Joe's tomorrow just to keep the friends that I do have still there.

Well I think I have done enough complaining and getting things off of my chest and enough off of my mind so that way I can sleep tonight, since I didn't get any sleep last night.

Ciao!

It has been quite a while since I have updated, and I have lots to talk about. For the past couple of weeks I have been working quite a bit. I almost killed my sister's fiancee. A girl that I have known forever died of CF (cystic fibrosis), and one of my really good friends is in critical condition in the hospital in New York and I feel so helpless. I just wish it was all a horrible nightmare and I would wake up and it would be over. Just as a reminder this is all coming about two weeks after my great aunt Helen died. I am to the point now that I am wandering what else is going to happen to me and if something does is it going to completely devastate me worse than I already am.


So have I told anyone that I absolutely without a doubt hate my job more than anything else in this world. Even my father and that takes a lot of hate. I am looking throught the classifieds trying to find a new job, and I really hope that I find one and I can actually afford to work there unlike Buehler's since I don't make any money even though I am working a crap load of hours. I am to the point now that I don't have any patience with the customers at all and that is a bad thing because I am completly in the Customer Service Department and if I can' stand them then I won't do my job very well and I will probably get fired. I think I would be happy if I did lose my job because then it would give me motivation to find a new job. Well I will keep everyone updated on my job status.


Well now about Sara, who is the girl that died of CF. I have known her for a very long time. She was my neighbor while I was growing up and I had the biggest crush on her as long as I can remember. She was a few years older than me and was way out of my league. I found out that she died yesterday and it wasn't really a big surprise because she was supposed to die like 15 years ago. So she lived a very long life for someone in her condition. I thank god for that. She was married and everything. I am just so glad that she was able to live a good life.


This part is going to be the hardest thing I think I have ever had to write about or even talk about. I am really good about hiding my feeling when I need to, but today I believe Jen saw me in my weakest state I have ever been in. At least since I have been down here in E-ville. If you can't tell I am really putting this off as long as I can, but I know that I need to get it off of my chest or it is going to be a burden on me for a very long time. To make things even better tonight while I was at Jamie's I became something that I never wanted to become. I felt like I used the situation to get attention and I didn't mean to or want to it just came out that way (that's what he said). I think that main reason I did it was to let everyone know that I wasn't myself and I didn't want to have to answer it later or keep it from them. I apologize if anyone thinks that I came off as an attention deprived little brat.


Well I don't believe that I can put this off any longer because it is really starting to eat me alive inside. I am going to go ahead and apologize for being a complete and udder BITCH for the next week or two. So on with it. My sister called me today while I was on my into the Donut Bank with Jen. She started out the conversation " Have you heard anything about Bryce?" Then she told me to sit down. Then I knew it was horrible news. So she continued to tell me the entire story. So here goes nothing. Bryce and his wife
Melanie were at a work get together thing. Bryce left to go the restroom (note: there was no drinking involved) when he went to go down the stairs he fell. After he fell down the stairs he was just lying there and wasn't moving, wasn't responsive to anyone or anything. So they called an ambulance and took him to the hospital. Now he sits in the hospital in Critical Condition. He has bruises on his brain and swelling of the brain. He is incoherent, doesn't remember anyone or anything, and he can't talk. The fall damaged the speech part of his brain. So far the doctors have put tubes in to get fluid out to try and reduce the swelling they have also taken out part of his skull to try and help reduce the swelling. So far nothing has had any sort of affect what so ever. They are going to give it a week and see if anything happens and then they are going to reassess him and see what else they can do.


So I have been totally freaking out all day long inside my head and my body and no one has had any clue because I don't want anyone to know how I am truly dealing with this which isn't good at all. I think that the only person that might have the slightest idea would be Jen. I was so freaked out that I made her call me when she got home tonight because I was so scared that something bad was going to happen, and I don't think that I can take anything else or I am going to completely lose my mind.


Oh and by the way to anyone who cares, this would be Jamie and Kevin Jen made it home completely fine she called me to let me know at about 11:00. I will try to keep everyone who gives a shit updated on Bryce's and my condition.

Today at work has realy been bad. People are just really starting to annoy me really badly and this isn't a good sign. This means that I am more agitated than normal and that is very bad. I think that when I get off work I am going to go home and play Arc the Lad for a while. Well I have nothing else have fun.

You Know You're From Indiana When...

You drive for three hours and the scenery outside doesn't change. There's three feet of snow on the ground and school is still in session. You only go to the mall once a year 'cause it takes too long to get there. While driving all you see is corn. People still have Christmas decorations up at Easter. You start saying to yourself "More than corn in Indiana my butt." Anyone with a cell phone looks out of place. Walking through Wal-Mart with two carts full of kids is normal. Wnyone with a tan is rich. The hip hang-out place is McDonald's. There really is more than corn in Indiana. There’s soybeans, too. When you plan an orgy and a Euchre game breaks out. A restaurant has an invisible wall in the non-smoking section and you believe it works. Speeding consists of 2 miles over the speed limit. You think you don't have to use a turn signal on your car because you don't use it on your tractor. You build your dream house on a cornfield, and you considered it posh. You warsh your clothes and you think George Warshington was the first president. You're proud to be called a Hoosier, even if you don't know what one is. You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Terre Haute" Detassling was your first job. Bailing hay, your second. You can stack hay, swim in the pond to clean off, and then have the strength to play a couple of games of hoops all in the same day. You say things like "catty-wumpus" and "kitty-corner". You own a dirtbike or a ATV. You live in a city ... and there's a cornfield in your backyard. High school basketball game draws a bigger crowd on the weekend nights than movie theaters. You can see at least 2 basketball hoops from your yard. You can name every one of Bob Knight's "exploits" over the last few years. You shop at Marsh. Damon Bailey was your childhood hero. The biggest question of your youth was "IU or Purdue?" Indianapolis is the "big city". "Getting caught by a train" is a legitimate excuse for being late to school. People at your high school chewed tobacco. Everyone knows who the town cop is, where he lives, and whether he is at home or on duty. You actually know what the CART vs IRL debate is about and have taken a side. To you, a raccoon is simply a "coon". The vehicle of choice in your area is not a car, but a pickup. Someone you know is BIG John Mellencamp fan. You've been to the Covered Bridge Festival. To you, a tenderloin is not an expensive cut of beef, but a big, salty, breaded piece of pork served on a bun with pickles. You call a green bell pepper a "mango". Sometimes, you call the toilet the "commode" or the "stool". In the fall, one of your favorite pranks was corning cars. You know what FFA and 4H stand for. You know what chip-and-seal is, and your high school was located on just such a road. You go the county fair every night of it's week-long duration. You can say "French Lick" without laughing out loud. There's actually a college near you named "Ball State." The last "g" is silent in any word ending in "ing." You think the state Bird is Larry. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Indiana.

These are so true it is hilarious.

Happy Birthday Jamie!!!!!!!!

I hope you have an awesome birthday!!

You Know You're Addicted to Smoking When...

You put scotch tape on a broken one. You only smoke half of the cigarette so you can start on the next one sooner. A big white truck with the picture of a camel rolls up to your house twice a week with your supply of smokes. You are considering changing your name to Malboro. You smoke in the shower. You've convinced yourself that second-hand smoke is not harmful if you inhale really really deeply. Your children are named: Winston, Philip Morris and Misty. R.J. Reynolds sends you a Christmas card. You're waiting for the last few pews to become a designated smoking area before you'll go back to church. People invite you outside to admire the stars, and it's daytime. Every time you light up a cigarette your family stops, drops and rolls. Your family's Christmas wish list consists of gas masks, fire extinguishers and air fresheners. You have an environmental awareness group protesting on your lawn. Your family goes to Los Angeles for fresh air. Your friends have named their secondhand smoke related coughs after me. Your cat has taken to wearing "The Patch" Your family uses fog horns to navigate around you. Just watching the 400 metre race during the Olympics makes you tired. The local iron lung dealer sends you their product brochures. Phillip Morris sends you their annual report and thanks you for your help. You recently read somewhere that your former cigarette manufacturer went out of business shortly after you switched to a new brand. Your doctor [excitedly] asks for your permission to use your lung x-rays at his next "Quit Smoking" seminar. You take baths because the shower puts 'em out Your nickname at work is "Breakroom." You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Smoking.